I came across this quotation and felt the need to share it with the few people who actually read this blog:
"The man who comes back through the Door in the Wall will never be quite the same as the man who went out. He will be wiser but less sure, happier but less self-satisfied, humbler in acknowledging his ignorance yet better equipped to understand the relationship of words to things, of systematic reasoning to the unfathomable mystery which it tries, forever vainly, to comprehend." - Aldous Huxley
I think that this person was very wise...it's just so perfectly explained that there is nothing else to add.
As for me...I'm fine. Studying was never and will never be my favourite activity although I recognise it is a necessary evil. I cannot believe that just two exams and a presentation are the only things which separate me from my B.Mech.Eng. I would like to fast forward to the moment the lecturers will stop asking me questions about my thesis to see what it will be like at that point...at that point when there would be nothing left to be said and done...the point when all I did in the past four years will be put in the balance...like a mini final judgement. And what will be the verdict? that I am a mediocre or a good student? I don't know.
I am a person who fears change and yet, like a child who knows that fire is hot and will burn their skin, I feel attracted towards it. I don't know what it is but I know it is there... it stops my "worst case scenario" analysis and makes me want to do things that will take me to new places to do new things with new people...me ...a person who as a child had big problems socialising because of my almost-obesity and constant allergies which gave me the long lost nickname "green monster". And yet even then I never let people realise how much that nickname hurt me...I used to go on with the joke and just encapsulate the pain in a steel sphere...just to be released while I used to be walking towards my mother's car from the school exit. Then one fine day my mum asked why I had lost that sparkle in my eyes...I wanted to cry, scream, shout...but I told her I didn't know why. With time I shed the weight and the allergies stopped so things got better but once you lose that sparkle it is difficult to get it back...I got most of it back at sixth form (the best two years of my life) and now I get it intermittently...I hope it will be back one day.
I don't know where all this came from...I didn't plan to write so much...but once it's written I won't delete it.
to the person I love most in the entire world...the same person who gave me back my sparkle...the person who isn't very likely to read my blog post and yet I love him just the same...you are my sunshine!
:)
