something I should have written long ago...

Hi,
I'm really sorry I haven't written in so long...the truth is that after I finished my exams I had loads of stuff to do and when I had very little left to do I decided to take a break from my laptop.

In less than 3 days I will be leaving Malta and the last few weeks/days have been a cacophony of emotions. Everybody I meet to say bye keeps asking me how I am feeling...but the truth is that I don't know exactly what it is. I am happy that my dream has come true but at the same time I am sad that I am going to have to leave all my friends and family behind...I am also scared that I will arrive in the Netherlands and I won't like the place, I will hate the weather and I will not be happy in the course I chose.

On the other hand I ask myself: But why should anything go wrong? the last couple of years of my life have been filled with situations which seemed desperate at that point in time but then, in some way or another, worked out perfectly well. It happened when I applied for Erasmus (I had a mediocre average back then so getting chosen for something I knew I wanted to do from day 1 at UOM was a miracle)...then again my thesis (Murphy's law from beginning to end...the problems just kept coming but in some way or another I managed to pull it off and I got a mark I am very proud of)...and again actually getting accepted at TU Delft was huge...I simply couldn't believe my eyes when I got that email back in January...so why can't everything go well this time too?...and yet that fear of failure still exists.

and then that painful punch in the heart comes back when I think of my friends. I think of all the times we laughed and cried together and all I want to do is shrink everyone and put them all in my suitcase....but as a big friend of mine told me last time: it wouldn't be fair in their respect because they would have to stop living their own lives to suit my whims....so don't worry I'm not going to shrink anyone with my shrinking ray :p

anyway now I'm off because I realise that this post has dragged on too much
...and remember that the next time I'll be writing, I'll be in the NETHERLANDS :)))))))))))))