...life

well I realise that I haven't written for quite a while now but at times life pulls you through days and weeks and months without even letting you realise that time is actually passing and that your experiences are morphing you into a slightly different being.
I don't want to change...I want to be who I am at the moment and just be the same until I die but whether I want it or not some subtle changes in my character and in the way I act will undoubtedly have to take place during the course of my life...but then what if my old friends, the ones that I've known forever and the ones that are like family for me, what if those friends, don't like who I've become?
At times I feel like I am in a two year limbo...two years of great change, great experiences, great new friends...but then what will happen when all this comes to an end will we all go back to our previous lives and forget all about the changes, the experiences, the friends and all? or will our 2 years become 6 or 10 or 20 years?
I wish there could be someone to answer all my questions...to tell me why life takes you to the very top just to show you how easy it is to fall back down to the bottom and to show you how much it would hurt to fall back down...life likes kicking you in the balls and leaving you on the ground surrounded by hungry wolves...so what keeps us from drowning in this sea of uncertainty? is it faith? if you ask me, I don't know...I hope that this last straw will help keep me afloat because this road is icy and I'm afraid I'm going to fall.
...I'm sorry for all this pessimism, it's not normal for me... but at times you just run out of pink spectacles and you realise how dull this world is without them